I Wish I Was More Like Her

Today we got a xmas card in the mail from CHERUBS and she asked what it was. I told her it was a card for CDH kids. She said she didnt want Liam to be a CDH Cherub that she just wanted him to be Liam Michael. My heart broke. I too just want him to be Liam Michael but it won't change the truth that he is a Cherub. I tried my best to explain to her that the doctors fixed him and he's fine now. That yes even though he is a Cherub he is still Liam Michael and will always be Liam Michael. She's a very smart kid and she understands alot. She has seen the pic from Liam's fundo and understands that they fixed his tummy. What she doesnt like is that her brother is different. She doesn't want him to be a Cherub when shes not a Cherub. She wants them to be the same. I explained that I am very happy that she is not a Cherub and that if I could have changed the fact that Liam was born sick I would have but thats not how God works. I explained that God choose her to be our daughter and that she was very special then God choose Liam to be our son and he too is special. I explained that we're all different and that no one is exactly like someone else. You would think that a conversation like this would be too hard for a almost 4 year old to grasp, but not Lanie. She's very intelligent, beyond her years. When we had her in NICU with us, she never once freaked out. At first she thought thats how all babies were. We had to explan to her that not all babies have to go through what Liam and the others there went through. We explained that they were all sick and that the nurses and doctors were making them better. She actually thought Liam's stat monitor was his own personal video game. We all had laughed then explained that the screen showed his heart rate, breathing and what not. She thought it was pretty cool. She never once was afraid to reach out and touch her brother. We never let her see him while he was on ECMO, it was far to scary. After he was off ECMO and the day he had his repair sugery she got to meet him for the first time. She was so excited. We lifted her up and sat her in a chair to see him. She asked if she could touch him. After we said yes she just sat there holding his hand and talking to him. It was amazing. She was never afraid of her brother or the tubes and wires comming out of him. She asked once what they were for and when we told her they were making him better she just smiled and said ok. The only time she ever got upset was at Valley Childrens Hospital when Liam started balling when they were trying to insert an IV. She was mad at the nurses for hurting her brother and making him cry. After that she was very protective of him and would always ask the nurses when they were at the bedside if they were going to hurt him again and what they were doing. I am very proud of my brave little girl. She has handled the entire situation with Liam better than any one. The one time I dared to look sad around her she walked up to be, laid her head on my shoulder, patted me then said "Its ok momma. Liam's fine, he's going to be fine". I wish I was as brave and strong as my almost 4 year old baby girl. Her strength, intelligance and imagination astounds me.