Hush Little Liam

Liam is having a bad night. He keeps waking up letting out cries. He's uncomfortable and in pain due to his feed. I walked to his bed and he's laying there holding his stomach. Today at the GI when I told her this she thinks it's because of all the antibiotics he's had in the last two months over "gtube" infections that when she saw the pics of she said they weren't infections just irritated. I didn't really agree with her considering the pedi said infection and even Children's said infection on a few. Anyhow she said usually within 3 days the antibiotic are pit of your system but that with Liam he could be having longer lasting affects. She said wait it out a few days more and see what happens. I told her I was giving Motrin and Tylenol to try and get him comfortable at night but even that wasn't helping and only stopping the feed helped. Anyway so here I am at 2:47 am sitting on Liam's bed rubbing his back as he cries put "mama...mommy" every few minutes knowing there's nothing left I can do but stop his feed. So I do and watch as every minute that passes he gets more comfortable and less whinny. I sit here and listen as he calls out "mommy" a few more times then curls into my side for cuddles. I rub his curly haired head and whisper "shh baby. It's ok momas here" and hold him close. 

I sit here and I wonder "how does he do it?"  How does he have to strength to go through what he's been through? How does he deal with the uncomfortableness and the pain and still smile and laugh? How does he have the energy? It seems he's awake and tossing and turning most nights yet during the day he's hyper and happy. I only wish that after these sleepless nights I had that kind of energy. I sit her staining at his now snoring face and love him even more for his strength knows no bounds. His love is everlasting and unconditional. He has a passion for life and a yearning for learning. This little boy has touch so many lives, changed so many lives by just being him. Hearing his story only magnifies the live complete strangers have for him. This little boy who will have left a huge footprint on this world and he's mine. I get the honor of holding him and loving him daily. 

And yes again I've gone off track but that's because my son is now peacefully asleep just 10 min after stopping his feed. I look down at his peaceful sleeping face and thank God he's mine. I look at him and think "he's perfect, scars and all. Just absolutely perfect". Because he is. He couldn't be the Liam we know and love today if he hadn't of gone trough the journey he's been through. I get to spoil him with foods and candy whenever he wants it just because of his slow weight gain. His wants are simple. Food and cars and he's a happy camper. Medical needs aside he's a simple boy who doesn't ever ask for much. He will choose a $1 hot wheel or matchbox car over a $40 toy any day. Give him a bag of durritos and a sippie cup of water and he's a happy boy. 

I'm going to stop rambling as it's 3:10 am now and end with a picture... Or two from today. 

{pic below of the nurse at the GI clinic taking Liam's vitals. Liam whose been through this millions of times is just sitting there patiently waiting and bored out of his head. She took longer than he was willing to give her to listen to his heard so he started laughing and playing with her stethoscope. }

{pic below is of Liam posing for a picture with Nemo. He heard he was getting the Nemo room today so he ran as fast as he found in his squeaky sandals to get there. All the nurses smiled at his cuteness and laughed over his silly shoes. Once in the room I told Liam to find Nemo and he searched until he found Nemo hiding behind a chair which he pushed at until he could squeeze behind it. I moved it so he could "play" with Nemo. I asked him where's Nemo? And he point to him then rambles on while staining at Nemo. Finally Liam declares "Nemo paint mommy". What a jaw dropping moment. Yes baby Nemo was painted on the wall. "Hmm paint" he said then laughed. We knew Liam was smart by how he figured out puzzles and problem solved but I never realized how much he actually caught on to things. I always thought he was in his own little world most the time but I was severely wrong. He may be slow at the talking game but this boys brain has been in the game learning and soaking it all in like a sponge.}

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