I had this thought because I had the pleasure to spend the entire day helping in her classroom. They had a lot of projects they needed help catching up on so I volunteered to stay all day and do whatever I could to catch them up. After all, Lanie won't be "little" forever. Heck she's a little taller that my shoulder already at age 8!! (In my defense, I'm short!! Only 4' 10")
As I thought this, I got sad. It won't be long before her teachers no longer want nor need parent volunteers. And in just a few short years she will able to stay home by herself for a few hours during the daytime. When did this happen? Can't we stop this?
Unfortunately this is just how it is.
I then thought to myself, it's not just "she's only young once". We also never know what tomorrow brings. What the next hour will bring. We never know when our time is up here on earth and we get called to Heaven.
We thought we had a lifetime with Liam and look what happened. We had a split second in the grand scheme of life. Life is precious and we need to live like today is our last day.
Easier said than done.
I want my daughter to be little forever. I dont want things to change. I want me son back. But we don't get to make those choices or call those shots. And yea it scares the crap out of me.
I tried to enjoy the time I get to spend in Lanies classroom. I try to enjoy the time I spend in preschool even though my son is no longer there. Because the end of the year is approaching and then that's it. Everything changes once again. No more preschool visit days. No more second grade art and science projects.
Once again it'll be just me sitting at home trying to figure out how to handle life, depression, PTSD, fibromyalgia, loosing my son. Trying to find a way to continue living.
At some point I'll have to go back to work. That time is swiftly approaching.
But today,
today was for fossil making, science experiments and art projects.
Pictures from today from left to right:
1) Lanies air dry clay fossil
2) Lanies tissue paper butterfly
3) edible grass the kids are growing in class
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