Hard to believe

I was looking at the post I made on Liams facebook to see how much ive updated. Apparently not very much because the 3rd post down was the pictures on Liam smiling happy to be home and the wagon at the hospital all packed down with our stuff. Its so hard to fathom that just 5 days ago we got released from the hospital and went home to spent 72 wonderful hours in bliss just to be back. Its almost like we never left, more of a distant memory or dream. Each hospital visit is getting scarier and scarier. We've moved from his body to his brain. Its a scary road trying to figure out what is or could be neurology wrong with little Liam. If only we could get some clues that could lead us to the answers. I find myself having a hard time trying to comfort little Liam during blood draws and IV placements. I find it hard to tell him that everythings all right when I look into his eyes and see that he is miserable being poked. His eyes beg me to make it stop and I cant. I cant take away that pain. I wipe away his tears, tell him itll be over soon, then snuggle him close after. I sing to him, read to him, but I cant lie to him. I cant tell him its ok when I don't even believe it myself. Its not ok that he has to be poked over and over again, its not ok that I have watch him hurt. We've reached a point now with his medical issues that its issues that aren't stemmed from CDH. I wonder what my genes have done to my son and what hell he will go through because of it. Im praying for strength in both Liam and myself. Praying that God grants the doctors wisdom and guidance to help Liam. Liams hospital tally: July 14 -Aug 28 44days Sept 27-oct6 10days Oct 9-Nov 4 26days Jan 3days Feb 18-March 1 12days March 4 to present That's a total of 97 days and counting in his 205 days of life. God gives us trials and tribulations for a reason. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and everyday we are going stronger, even though I feel weak at times. Liam is such an amazing little boy. He can smile through everything. The nurses just love him and his big eyes. Liam loves his toys but what he loves most of all is our snuggle time when I read to him. He peacefully drifts off to sleep at night. We cannot wait until all his health problems are solved and get him home. We are running out of books to read our sweet little Liam. If you would like to email him good thoughts and prayers I will be reading them to him during our cuddle times. cherubliam@yahoo.com We thank you so much for your prayers, good thoughts and wishes. I read Liam all your comments from his Facebook page. Liam smiles because he loves being talked to and read to. Your comments lighten my spirits and keeps me hanging in there. May God bless you all for your enormous hearts that are big enough to love a little boy who most of you have never met. Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android