Tuesday, February 10, 2015

When Is It Enough

          I'm walking down a rocky road here and need to find my way to solid ground. I really thought God wanted me to go and do something (not going to say what because I don't want to bring that whole slew of trouble into the mix). Now, just 2 months later, I don't feel like he's still wanting me on this path. I stood up and took responsibility and to just walk away could mean the very end of this "program" all together. A few of us are trying really hard to make a difference and then there are a few people that have no clout, no shame, and just don't care trying to make sure that not only do we not make a difference but that the blame falls on our shoulders.

          My heart hurts thinking about how much good we could really do if only these few people would "play nice". My heart hurts because I've put in a lot of time into this and sacrificed my families needs to do this and all that's happened was the blame game and being threatened. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm trying to follow God's path for me and be a Godly woman in the face of this tornado. I just don't know if I can continue to stand strong and not walk away.

          The stress this has put on me has been horrible. It's affected my anxiety. My heart has more episodes. Is all this and more worth it? When do I draw the line and say I've had enough? I just don't know. 

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