Halloween Mini Crystal Ball DIY

I shared my Crystal ball DIY with you and now I'm sharing how I made a handheld one for my daughter to carry around while dressed at a fortune teller.

What you'll need:

-Plastic Snow globe from Hobby Lobby

-Iridescent material from Michael's

-Battery operated candle from the dollar tree.

-Scissors

It won't take but a few minutes to put this together.

1. Unscrew the lid on your globe. You'll be an inner lid. Take that out.

2. Use your scissors to make a hole in the center of your inner cap.

3. Push the candle "flame" through the hole.

4. Fill the globe with the iridescent material.

5. Insert the inner cap followed by the outer cap.

6. When you want to turn it on, just unscrew the outer cap and flip the switch on your candle.

Halloween Crystal Ball DIY

It's that time of year again!! Halloween is so close and I have a lot to do to prepare for our annual Halloween party. Truth be told I started decorating about a month ago. I go all out for Halloween so it takes me a long time to decorate.

This year is going to be even better. With the new house I have more space to decorate and a better backyard so I'm having to add new elements. I thought it would be fun to have a fortune teller display. I wasn't wanting to spend a ton of money on store bought decoration since I'm going to need a lot more.

Thought I'd share my DIY in case you wanted to try it for yourself...

(The tarot cards were purchased at Michael's and I used painters tape to tape them up along the walls)

For this craft you will need the following:

-A glass bowl in any size. I used a medium sized one I found at Michaels. It was $7.99 and I used a coupon to get it even cheaper.

-String lights. Also from Michael's. They were only $5.

-Iridescent basket filler also purchased at Michaels for $3.99. I wanted a roll of it to crumble up but all I could find anywhere was this stuff.

-Batteries for your lights. I used cheap dollar store ones since this was basically only going to be on the night of the party.

-cardboard 

-scissors

-marker

-hot glue gun and glue stick.

Once I had everything it was pretty simple and quick to put together. 

1. Turn the bowl upside down on the cardboard and trace where the glass touches.

2. Cut out the circle then cut a little nitch out for the string lights to pop out.

3. Fill the bowl with the iridescent material.

4. Next take your string lights and put them in your bowl mixed through-out the material.

5. Glue around the edge of your cardboard circle. Avoid gluing on the nitch you cut out. After turn upside down (or right side up)

6. Your ready to go! 

When Halloween is over you cant easily pop off the cardboard circle and remove everything and reuse your glass bowl for another holiday.

Grief Journal: Faith

24) Has your faith changed?

Right after my son passed I away, I was really confused. I struggled with my faith. I questioned everything. As I worked through my grief my faith became stronger. Because God sent his only son to die on the cross for us, I will be reunited with my son in heaven. If God loved us that much, then there is no way he would just take my son from me and cause me so much pain.

Now life is about trying to stay on the path that God wants me on and surviving every day that comes my way until I reunite with my son in heaven. I will miss him every second of every day, but I still have a life to live and God's plan to follow. Having faith doesn't make this an easy journey but it reminds me that I'm not alone. It reminds that even though it's hard right now, it won't always be that way.


Click here for the entire list of Journal prompts.

Seven

My sweet, silly little boy. To say I miss you would be an understatement. Today you would have turned 7 years old. I'm sure we would have planned a grand party for you. Ninja Turtles, pirates, sharks, who knows what you would have wanted. I bet your speech would have greatly improved. I bet your feeding tube would have been out this year. I'm sure you'd still be making silly faces at me, wanting cuddles and begging for yet another hot wheels.

This will be the third birthday of yours we've celebrated without you. It's harsh. Every year we try to figure out what we'll do to remember and honor you. Every year we are both angry and sad your not here. You'd be going into the 2nd grade if you were here. How crazy is that? We've done so many new things since you've been gone and with each one we thought of you. We'd talk about how much you'd like whatever we were doing and how fun it would be to have you with us. I'd give up all the new experiences just to race hot wheels with you again.

 Until the day come when we can see you again, hold you again, we are trying to make each day here count. Trying to give your sister great memories. Trying to change the world just a little bit before it's our time. We love you so much little lamb. <3 p="">

To learn more about Liam's story click here 

To watch Liam's memorial video click here

To check out our CDH awareness page, click the Shooting for Liam tab at the top.

To check out our child loss awareness and nonprofit page click the Sent from Heaven tab at the top.

Grief Journal: The Only One

23) What do you do when you feel like you're the only one grieving?

More often than not, I feel like I am the only one grieving the loss of my son Liam. I also know for a fact that I am the ONLY one grieving the loss of the twins my first pregnancy. A lot of people just sweep the fact that you miscarried under the rug like it's something you should be ashamed of. Something your not allowed to talk about. A lot of people believe that it wasn't even a life when you miscarry in the early stages. I think about my twins all the time like I think of Liam. What would they look like?, how hard would it have been to care for two babies at the same time and so on.

For my 3 babies in heaven (Liam and the twins), I have this handle holder thats 3 kids holding hands as if to be playing ring around the rosie, around a candle. I've imagined the 3 of them in heaven doing so so many times. For Liam I have his urn, shelf set up and a candle with his picture on it.

But when I feel alone in my grief, I keep to myself. I write in a journal or blog. I look through his pictures and videos. I cry a lot. I even buy little things when I find them that remind me of him for his shelf.

There's no exact science to what I do when I feel alone. I've also been known to reach out to those that loved him just to try to not feel alone. And when all else fails, I do something for myself. I buy a new Rae Dunn piece, or letter board. I treat myself to something sugary even though it'll make me sick. I color and draw. And my favorite is cuddling with my cat.

Click here for the entire list of journal prompts.

Grief Journal: Common Quotes

22) Pick a common well-meaning quote someone has said to you. Do you believe that it's true? Why or why not?

"At least you can have another child"

JUST NO! There is so much wrong with this saying. Yea the person saying means well. They're not out to crush  your heart (at least I hope not) but it still does. For me I actually can't have anymore children. I had my tubes tied when I had Liam and suffered a uterine rupture while pregnant with him. To get pregnant again it would be high risk to that baby and to me. Also what are you thinking when you say this? Surely your not thinking having another baby would replace the child I lost right? Because that's impossible. Even if I had another baby, Liam would still be gone and I'd still miss him and my heart would still be missing a piece. There is NO getting over the loss of your child. There is only learning to live each day without them until you see them again in Heaven.

I know from first hand experience that having another child after losing one does not take the place of the one you lost. My first pregnancy I was pregnant with twins. I didn't even know I was pregnant until I miscarried one of them one night after a long walk. I immediately got in to see a doctor to find that I was still pregnant with the remaining baby. They said it happens. I cried my eyes out. Yes I was finally  going to get to be a mom, but one of my babies would always be gone. 3 weeks later I miscarried the second twin. There was no reason for it, it just happened. 2 months later I became pregnant with my daughter Lanie and delivered a happy healthy baby girl. Shes 10 1/2 now. The twins would be 11 years old now. 12 in November/December.

Lanie has been such a great kid. I miss those late night bottle feeds as I rocked her and sung her back to sleep but she never took the place of the babies I lost because she was her own self. As a mom who has lost children, I always think of them. Holidays and special occasions are the worst because I know I should be wrangling up 4 kiddos and not just the 1. I am a mom of four. No other child can take the place of the ones I lost.

Click Here for the entire list of journal prompts.

Big Moves

We did it. We finally moved to our new house. It's been a week of moving everything over and cleaning out the old house, followed by four weeks of trying to settle into the new place. It feels so strange. Like there are two realities and I'm stuck between them, unsure which one is real. It feels like we're meant to be here yet like we don't deserve this.

It's a bigger, better house, on a better side of town with better schools for our daughter. We're waiting for the shoe to drop and for this to be taken from us like everything else that makes us happy. I guess that's how you feel after you've gone through what we have and suffered like we have.

This move was a hard one. We had to do it without our little boy. When a family moves, the whole families goes. They don't leave behind anyone. But the only part of Liam that got to move were his things and his urn. To pack up his corner took a lot of strength. To pick up his urn and transport it to the new house sent me right back to when we picked it up from the funeral home. I started spiraling emotionally. We also had to go through boxes that were in storage and found more of his things that were put away before he passed away. At one point I started crying and had to walk away. There's only so much pain one heart can handle. We shouldn't have to go through our dead child's things to decide what stays and what goes. Then again we shouldn't even have a dead child. I say it that way because I want you to really feel the pain. Or maybe it's just me. Saying he passed away is like trying to soften the blow for people when the word dead is like a slap to the face. It can't be ignored.

I knew moving without Liam would be extremely hard. I just didn't expect it to be so soul breaking. I didn't anticipate having to go through his things or finding stuff stashed away. His shelf was to be set up but his boxed belongings were to be stored in the office closet, as is. That's not at all how it worked out. We've been here three weeks and have so much more unpacking to do.

I know that we have to live but living after the loss is so hard. He should be here enjoying the room to run and exploring. We know that we have to find our way. This move is supposed to help us. I can honestly say that despite the few breakdowns we've all had over Liam, that there's change happening in all of us.

We're still not completely unpacked. Not even halfway. We unpacked enough to "survive" then the unpacking just stopped. For the first time since we first got married, it looks like we're living a minimalistic lifestyle and I gotta say it's actually working for us. Our lives feel less cluttered, physically and emotionally. It's almost like having less stuff is helping us process our own thoughts and feelings.

Our house is staying cleaner. Things aren't just littering every surface or the floor. I'm not constantly having to pick up after everyone. I have more time to focus on the things that make me happy. Only I have no idea what that is anymore and instead of concentrating on whatever that may be, I'm having to concentrate on my health because it's seems to only be getting worse.

Yes I still have Fibromyalgia. Yes it's still a pain in the, everywhere. I know my limits with it, and admittedly I always over do it. About a month ago I was diagnosed with something new. Itersistal Cystitis. A very painful problem with my bladder that has just seemed to get worse this last few months. You know how they say 'when life gives you lemons, make lemon aide?'. Well with IC you don't want to consume anything with lemons in it. It's a good thing Lanie went off to camp this last week so she didn't have to see me absolutely miserable and in bed all week. I spent this week in so much pain and trying new medications and peeing blood. I know TMI but this really is serious and if there's something I do consistently, it's spread awareness.

Speaking of Lanie, shes having an absolute blast at christian camp. She called Tuesday and said she loved it. Sunday she's getting baptized. She's starting her own journey with God and we couldn't be prouder of her.

More Than Normal

Normal.

Normal was what we tried to give Liam. We wanted him to do normal boy things like play in the mud and climb trees. I swore one day I'd be taking him to ER for a normal broken arm instead of breathing or feeding problems. We tried so very hard to give him a "normal" life. I realize now that his life was anything but normal. It was so much MORE than normal. It was EXTRAORDINARY.

Liam taught us how to be strong. He was the strongest little boy I have ever known. He didn't fit in. He stood out. Like the brightest star in the sky. His smile shone brighter than the sun and when you saw it you couldn't help but smile too. His eyes would light up, as if there were actual lights behind his eyes, when he saw something he loved. He wasn't meant to fit in and get lost in the crowd. He was meant to shine and shine he did.

Liam shone so brightly until his last breath. He shone so brightly that his memory still shines in our hearts and in our memories. He was loved beyond measure, no he is still loved beyond measure.

I had so many fears for him, yet he was fearless. I was afraid he wouldn't fit in with the other kids at school but it was so much more. He stood out and yet they still loved him. He was proud of his differences and spread awareness in his own way. He loved showing off his Gtube. When he started having breathing issues and was back on oxygen, I wanted to keep him home. I was scared. Liam wasn't. He walked into that room as if nothing was different. Everyone had questions so I explained. One little boy said "so hes like an astronaut!" Liam's differences were celebrated. He was accepted despite them because he shone so brightly.

I was stupid to think normal was for Liam. He was so much more than normal. He was EXTRAORDINARY.

To quote Peter Pan "To live will be an awfully BIG adventure". Liam's life was an adventure. Every day, all day, he was exploring the world around him. Flying like Superman. Exploring the stars like an astronaut. Racing. The world was whatever he created it to be. He lived a huge life of adventure and love. A life fuller than most who live a long life. That's what I try to hold on too. Life is short and I want to live life like Liam did, for him. For me. 

Grief Journal: Priorities

21) Have your priorities changed since you lost your child?

Before Liam passed away my main goal was to keep him as healthy as possible. That was  my top priority. My second was to give him as normal a life as possible. It was extremely important that despite his many medical issues, that he be a normal boy and experience normal things.

Playing in the mud.
Going to races.
Going to school.
Having birthday parties.

(October 2015 Pumpkin Decorating)

Those are just to name a few. I didn't want him to feel any different than any other boy his age. I also wanted him to not be ashamed of his differences like:

His feeding tube (which he enjoyed showing EVERYONE).
His nasal cannula and oxygen (the kids at school said he was cool like an astronaut).
His frequent meds and breathing treatments.....
and more.

(November 2015 After having to go to school with his oxygen)

I would say that I succeeded greatly. Or that WE (my husband, daughter and I) succeeded greatly because it really was a team effort.

(2014)

However almost every minute of every day was planned out and busy. Even "free time". His schedule always came first. It was always TOP priority. His health was always TOP priority. We'd drop whatever we had to at a moments notice to rush to Valley Children's ER. Bags stayed packed with what I donned our hospital gear. Everything was meticulously planned out and there was always a back up plan.

When Liam passed I became lost. Even to this day 2 1/2 years later, I can look at the clock and tell you what I'd be doing if Liam were alive. Since his passing all our priorities changed. Yea we knew we could lose him in the blink of an eye because of what we went through in NICU and his first two years. As the years went by it became less and less likely though that it would happen. Then it did. We got a quick lesson in how quickly our lives could be over and one of us could be gone. That changed a lot of things for us, including our priorities.

Our main priority now is to give our daughter a better life. To enjoy life more than we did before and experiencing things we couldn't do because of Liam's health. We started kayaking as a part of this new outlook on life. I can tell you with almost perfect certanty that if Liam were here, we probably never would have even tried kayaking because it would have compromised his health and well being, plus my sanity because to have MY crazy wild little boy on a kayak would drive me to insanity with worry.

(August 2017 Justin, Lanie and I relaxing on the kayaks)

We try to work to enjoy life more versus work to pay bills only. I can say our lives did a complete 360. To be honest that's the only major priority.

Now I would trade it all back for my son in a hot second if I could.

Click Here for the entire list of journal prompts.

Grief Journal: Different

20) How do you feel different than you did before you lost your child?

Since losing Liam, I feel lost like I have no direction or reason. Liam was my reason. Taking care of him and making sure he stayed healthy and had a full life was my reason. I feel like I'm barely treading water most days. Other days like I'm 5 feet under water and no matter how hard I kick I can't ever get above the water. Before losing Liam, I had a strict schedule, now I can't seem to keep one. Life is so different now than it was. I can feel his loss everyday. 

(Liam May 11th 2014)

Click Here for the entire list of journal prompts.

Grief Journal: What Have Your Learnt?

19) What have you learnt about yourself through the loss of your child?

Close your eyes and envision your babies. Feel the love you have for them overfill your soul. Now imagine losing one. Having to bury one. Imagine the pain, the heartbreak, even your soul shattering. Now know that the actual pain of losing a child is 10 thousand times worse than that. They say that you can actually die of broken heart syndrome, something that happens when you loose a loved one.

I learnt that you can live and breathe despite the pain of losing your child. It's difficult to say the least but it is possible. I learnt that you can still have a life. No it's not the life you imagined with your baby, but you can still live and even be happy. 


Click Here for the entire list of journal prompts.

On This Day May 11th

Facebook's "On This Day" can be a blessing and a curse. Some days I can't stand to look back on the memories because they hurt so much. Other days, they show me exactly what I need. Like a smiling picture of Liam or a video of him singing. Today was a mixture of both.

In 2016 I posted pictures of playdough creations Liam's preschool friends made me. I wrote the following:

On April 28th I started volunteering back I'm Liam's preschool class. I thought it was going to be very difficult, that maybe I'd even have to walk out because I'd start crying. And like I also expected, they asked about Liam. And they like I didn't expect, they would randomly walk up and hug me or just hold my hand. During center, I worked at the playdough table where we had to make bugs. After the kids were able to create anything. I randomly took the pipe cleaners and made hearts. The kids thought it was awesome and continued to ask me to make more for their creations. When they were done they presented each one to be saying they made them for Liam. Some were for me. I almost started crying right then and there. How special are these children whose hearts are huge and willing to love unconditionally and grieve with a smile on their face? They tell me they miss him and that he's their friend. "Of course he's your friend. He will always be your friend" I tell them. They smile huge back at me. Kids deal with things differently. Sometimes I wish I was more like them. Believing without seeing. Always having faith in everything and everyone. I carrying with me forever in my heart these memories and they help me more than these kids will ever know.

As hard as it was to go back to volunteer in his class, it was also a blessing. I needed to be there with those amazing kids, Liam's friends, to be reminded that there was still so much love and innocence in this world. Being there with them twice a week got me through some really tough times. I work  at their school and have been able to watch these kids grow. They're in 1st grade now and have gotten so tall. Every day they come through the lunch line and they smile at me, tell me "Hi Ms Aubin" or give me that shy silly smile that always makes me laugh. 

Then there was the day we got a glow in the dark surprise. In 2015 I wrote:

We got a surprise! So today I got a call from hubby saying to get home because the dog ate Liam's gtube button. Yes folks you read that right. The dog...ate...Liam's gtube. He just decided it was a toy and pulled it out and ended up eating it. Justin said he heard Liam yelling at the dog "no dog no! Bad dog!" So he turned around and saw what happened. Liam didn't cry, he just scolded the dogs. That's a new one for us and now we know that Liam isn't allowed outside with them unless he has on clothes. Apparently the dog really like the smell and taste of the stomach leaking. Smh. Anyway. I came home and cleaned him up and put in a new button. I got to looking at it and that's when I realized it was a glow in the dark button!! We've had a blast with this tonight. We called him a ghost, ET and taught him to say "et phone home" then called him a glow worm. Liam thought it was the coolest thing ever to have his gtube glow.

I had been getting him ready for bed when we noticed it glowing. Talk about an exciting event. We thought it was just so awesome. It's the little things that made life easier.

(2014)

Grief Journal: Word Cloud

18) Create a word cloud, print it or paste it in your paper journal or on your blog. You can use Wordle or Tagxedo.

I used wordclouds.com

 

 

Click Here for the entire list of Journal Prompts

Grief Journal: Goals

17) Make a list of goals for yourself that you hope to accomplish by a year form now or what you would like to be different in a year.


*Move
*Spend time on an old hobby
*Buy something for myself that I don't need but want anyway
*Start walking every day
*Find a new job


For the entire list of journal prompts click here

Grief Journal: Acrostic Poem

16) Write an acrostic poem using your child's name.

Loving 

Imaginative 

Amazing

Miracle

Click here for the entire list of journal prompts.

Grief Journal: Letter to Liam

15) Write a letter to your child...


Dear Liam,
I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss our cuddles and watching crazy animal videos with you. I miss reading "I love you Stinky Face" to you every night and "arguing" about which one of us is stinky face.

I miss how you use to climb on the back of the couch and lay there like the cats. How  you use to hang upside down from it and laugh. I miss how you use to stick your feet in my face and tell me to smell them and then laugh when I said your feet were stinky even when they weren't.

I miss singing the night night song to you. Lanie hasn't let me sing it to her since you passed. I miss watching you and Lanie play and laugh. She misses you too. It hurts her so much. Everyone misses you.

I will always love you. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. It's been 2 years sweet boy. 2 Years since I held you. 2 years and I haven't stopped grieving. I haven't come to terms with your passing. Maybe it's because I feel guilty like I shouldn't stop. But I need to find a better way to balance this grief and this life because I have to continue living.

When my time goes and I get to Heaven, I hope that you'll be waiting at the gates for me. I hope that you won't be mad I chose to see this life to the end and try to make a small difference in this world. I love you sweet boy and I will always love you. If I could change things, I would. I would have you here with me in an instant if it were possible but I have to come to terms that your gone. The only hope I have is that I will see you again. I love you sweet boy, always and forever.

3> mommy

(taken and edited October 2011)

Grief Journal: Plan Something

14) Plan something in honor of your child on a day that means something.

There are so many dates that hold unmeasurable amounts of meaning. 

Liam's birthday 7/14/2011: I spend the day every year surrounded by those that loved him and love us. 

7/21/2011: The day Liam had his repair surgery. Also my birthday. Having him survive the surgery was the best present I ever received. It meant he would have a chance at a life. It looks like I'm celebrating my birthday every year but in reality I'm celebrating that day.

12/15/2015: The day our sweet boy passed away. Last December was 2 years. Every year I just try to survive the day. 

March 25th-31st: CDH awareness week. Since 2012 I've been organizing picnics and balloon releases. Last year was the first year that I didn't do so. This year I'm unsure if we will be doing anything. 

Christmas Toy Drive: since 2012 I've been organizing toy drives to benefit Valley Children's hospital. I gathers items then deliver them right before Christmas. This year I'm revamping the drive and choosing 1 type of item to donate in hopes that we can be more successful for the 2018 year.

New Chapters

I won't lie, losing Liam took a toll on our marriage. It's an every day battle to not become just another divorce statistic. But it's worth it. Last weekend we took a spontaneous trip to Morro Bay, just the two of us. It was relaxing and so beautiful.

Saturday morning we ate breakfast at the Blue Sky Bistro. They're vegi scramble and biscuits and gravy were amazing.

It was really cold so we kept having to go back to the hotel warm to stand next to the heater. Even so we got a lot of walking in. We walked through the thrift stores searching for items to decorate our new home when we move. Then we walked to the Lil' Hut for lunch. Justin loves their clam chowder bread bowls. This time I decided to try their fish and chips. They were pretty good.

The sunset was beautiful Saturday night. It was the first time we'd ever got to see it set on the left side of the rock. Usually we're there during summer when the sun sets on the right.

This picture makes it look like there's an angel in the sky. 

We're ready for a fresh start. A new chapter to start.