Memories and Flowers

I was  getting ready to post an update when a blog post caught my eye. Grace’s journey with CDH posted on their blog about being asked “What memory do you have of your child that stands out for you the most. It may be a positive or negative memory. When you think of your child what is the first memory that comes to your mind?”

When I think of my first memory of Lanie, I think of the day she was born. Justin and I were in the OR because I was having a C-Section. Suddenly I hear her sweet cry and I start crying. They bring her over to us all wrapped up in a blanket and wearing a beanie to keep her head warm. They handed her over to me to hold and look at in the midst of finishing the C-Section. She immediately looked at me and stopped crying, then closed her eyes and fell asleep. My arms started to feel weak and I think the anesthesiologist realized this as well because we both asked Justin to take her before I came too weak and dropped her. He happily held her close and smiled at her with pride. Our first family picture was taken in the OR with Lanie in my arms and Justin smiling proudly at the camera. Our first day together was amazing and I feel in perfect sync with her needs and stepping into the mommy role.

My first memory of Liam is tramatic to say the least. When I finally got to lay eyes on his at 8 hours old he was sedated and hooked to so many tubes. They were getting ready to transport him to UCSF, 4 hours away. That memory will forever be ingrained in my mind and has changed me forever. Liam’s fight for life taught me to live each day to the most and to enjoy everything I do. It taught me that I can make a difference sharing our story and spreading awareness, something I will do for the rest of my life because of him.

My days are extremely busy. I’ve been working so much lately, and when I’m home I’m busy spending time with my kids and husband trying to make as many memories as I can before they’ve outgrown giggle, and being chased by the tickle monster. Before they trade in books and cuddles for cell phones and ipods. Time doesn’t stand still and neither do my precious babies.

I love working. It’s been so much fun getting out and meeting new people and trying to raise to the goals others have set for me. Coming home to two smiling children greeting me at the door with hugs, kisses, giggles and stories about their day has been amazing. Granted, I get even less sleep than I did before now that I can’t make it up during the day, but coming home to their energy is almost like an energy drink.

Liam has been eating so much by mouth! He gets all his tube feeds but still wants to eat and eat and eat. Tonight he ate probably half a cup of meat in spaghetti sauce for dinner alone. 30 min prior to that he ate ¼ cup of meat loaf from last nights dinner. That’s not even breakfast and lunch! Tonight he kept making whinning noises while I ate even though I was giving him bites so I told him to use his words. So he decided to say “Give me a bite”. WOWZA! 

Tonight  we read Robin Hood and Liam decided he wasn’t interested so he left me and Lanie hanging as we walked away to play. It was pretty funny.

Miss Lanie has shown a lot of creativeness. Shes officially crafty like her momma. She watched me make 1 felt rosette flower and asked if she could make one too. I cut out the material and 2 minutes later there sat a perfect rosette in her little hand! I just staired at her hand in utter shock. After I took and and glued it so it wouldn’t unravel, I sat it next to the one I made. Guess whose turned out better? LANIE’S!! She is now my little rosette princess! She ended up making her very own headband filled with rosettes in different colors. All I did was glue everything because she can’t handle a hot glue gun. She wants to learn how I make my other flowers now so next day off Lanie will be getting another lesson in flowers.