What's Your Value?

I just read this article and am pretty pissed about it! This mom's whole theory is based on the fact that the one year old won't remember it and that how good a mother you are is judged by the birthday party you throw for any kid under 4 years old. Yes they won't remember it, but you as a mom will. It's your time to celebrate that you had a child, no matter how old they are. This mom obviously didn't think of those mom's whose babies weren't expected to survive let alone make it to a year old. As a mom of a CDHer who was not expected to live, when his birthday comes around I am not just celebrating the day he was born. No, that memory is harsh and still hurts. I am celebrating that my son survived. That I survived. I am celebrating life and remembering all those lost to this horrible birth defect as well as all other mothers who didn't get to hold their sweet baby on their birthday. It's an emotional time. The party isn't about how many presents we can get. I teach my kids that presents don't matter. What matters is spending the time with those who love us and are fortunate enough to be able to be there with us. Presents can take a hike! So hearing that my value as a mom is judged off how good a party I throw is ridiculous and outragous. Does that mean I have no worth because I threw no party for Liam when he turned 3 for fear he would get sick before surgery? Or that on his second birthday I asked for no gifts? How much time did I spend by his side in the hospital? How many nights did I clean up vomit or hold a crying Liam? How many meds and feeds have I pushed through a gtube? Better yet how much of my heart did I give to my son? How many mothers would be willing to go through all this? I know many who wouldn't. I know that my own mother would have walked away to let me die alone if I had been born like Liam. So yes I am pissed that this moms view would deem me superficial and think that me throwing a party for my son to celebrate his life, a life he wasn't supposed to have according to doctors, is superficial. I probably shouldn't take so much offense to this but the fact is I do. I threw parties for my daughter as well because I wanted the memories. I wanted to share her first year. I played slide shows at both kids first birthdays. When I throw a party for my kids I don't expect gifts. All I expect is for people to show up and celebrate their lives and eat a little cake. No gifts are ever required! As a mother our value should be based off our love and our love isn't a party or what we can buy our kids.

Here's a link to the article in question: http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/177392/first_birthday_party_stress_planning?utm_medium=sm&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=fanpage&newsletter