(Liam September 21st, 2015)
Dear Sweet Liam,
My little angel,
I don't understand this life without you.
Your pictures,
Your things,
And this hurt,
Are the only reason I know you really existed.
I go through each day like a zombie,
Never really living,
Just existing.
I'm trying to see the light in this storm.
It should me simple.
It is simple.
You were hurting,
And now your not.
You lived a life of pain,
And now your suffering has ended.
I wanted so badly to believe that you were ok.
Every night I prayed for your health.
Lord please make each day better than the last.
Each day was better,
Even through the set backs.
It was better until it wasn't.
I know your suffering has ended.
I know your healthy and happy in heaven.
I wish I could see it.
I wish you were happy and healthy here.
Everyday I wake up and pray.
Lord please let me make it through today.
Throughout the day I pray.
Lord please let him be ok.
Lord please tell him I love him.
Lord please hug him for me.
A mother should never have to say these prayers.
I mother should never have to lose a child.
But here I am,
Where you are not.
Lost and broken inside.
Part of an exclusive club of heartbreak,
That should never exist.
If I could hold you,
I would.
If I could kiss you,
I would.
If I could whisper in your ear that I love you,
I would.
Instead I tell the butterflies.
I tell the sun each morning.
I blow dandelions and wish for you.
I love you sweet boy.
Until I get there,
Please hold that piece of my heart close.
