4) What has been surprising during your grief?
When my son passed away, it was soul shattering blow. The entire first year it was like there was veil shrouding the pain. Numb but not completely. I wasn't prepared for the pain that would hit for the second year without him. The veil had lifted and there was nothing left to cushion the blow of another set of holidays and special moments without my sweet boy.
Now we're approaching the second angelversary of my sweet boy and the 3rd year without him. The depression seems to have set in sooner than it did last year. It feels deeper and darker. I find myself not doing things I would normally do. I've stayed home instead of attending get together's. Even one on ones I've canceled. I don't want to be around anyone. Not even my family. I seclude myself. The pain keeps getting worse.
The most surprising thing during my grief has been that the pain keeps getting worse. That my heart is still beating despite the amount of pain I'm in. They say that you can die from heartbreak. They also say that time heals all wounds but that's a complete and utter lie. And despite being surrounded by family and friends, I feel all alone.
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