Living Again

There's this song that, for the last 10 months, has been on the radio every time I'm in the car. Every time I got in the car, this song was on. It drove me absolutely insane. I would turn the radio off or change the station. I fought it with all I had. I wasn't ready to move on. I didn't want to hear a song that told me to let my heart beat again. In all honestly I'm still not ready, but I'm trying.



Despite how much I fought this song, I realized that it was a message. Sure it's a son by Danny Gokey but the timing couldn't have been better. I know Liam wouldn't want me sad and depressed. I know he wouldn't be happy to see that there are days I can't even get out of bed. So one day this song came on and I kept myself from changing the station. It was playing far too often for it not to be a message form God or even Liam. I sat there in my car as it played, crying. Unable to see, unable to drive.



Why now? Why do I have to let my heart beat again when all I wanted was to be with my son. If I couldn't have him here on earth, then at least I could be with him in Heaven. I had just simply given up, stopped trying, stopped living. God was working in my heart by playing this song continuously until I listened. Slowly my heart started beating again. I started participating in life again. I started volunteered at the school again and slowly it built me up until I was able to start working again. As each day passed I went through the motions. Most days I'm still only going through the motions, but it's a start. It takes time to re-enter society after you decided to just stop.



Then one day I was asked if I would be interested in starting a nonprofit for child loss. My heart screamed "Yes! Do it. This is where your needed". So with tears in my eyes, I responded to the email with enthusiasm. That was the moment I started living again. Actually living. I once again had a purpose. Of course God always knew my purpose but I didn't. The future might even hold more than this, but this was that moment. The moment God had spent months, maybe years, working on my heart for. And to think, without that song hammering into me, I might have not been ready when asked.



So today, I wanted to share the song with you. Maybe it's something you need to listen too, or you know someone that should listen to it. Maybe it will help someone else who is struggling, make a change and decide to live again.











#liveagain #tellyourhearttobeatagain #dannygokey #childlossawareness #cdhawareness #lifeafterloss