Grief Journal: Hurtful Words

9) Some well-meaning but hurtful things people have said or done are....

"It's part of God's plan"

No. No it's not. God is not vengeful. He sees all and knows all and weighs the options before choosing the right path. Yes he could have saved Liam but what would have been the price? Would that outcome have been worse? Only God knows. My child was not taken by God. 

"At least you can have another"

For starters one child does not and can not replace another. Lanie did not replace the twins I miscarried. No other child can replace my Liam. Second, no I cannot have any more children. I suffered a uterine rupture during my pregnancy with Liam so it's too dangerous to try. My tubes are tied and I'm facing a hysterectomy due to health issues.

"You need to move on"

Imagine your life without one of your children. Can you? Can you imagine how you'd feel if one of your kids died? The heart ache that would follow? There is no moving on from losing a child. There is only trying to live each day with a whole in  your heart. 

"You lost a kid? Yea I know how that feels. I lost my grandpa (dad, mom or substitute anything here)"

I too have lost a grandparent and a parent. It's NOTHING and I mean NOTHING like losing a child. Your child. 

"At least you have your daughter"

Again one child does NOT EVER replace another. EVER.

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