Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts

Sunday, December 16, 2012



 
Christmas is 9 days away and with each day the excitement builds.
 
Our Elves are working over time making sure everyone is behaving.
 
Christmas pictures have been taken.
 
The tree decorated.
 
The present's all wrapped.
 
The stocking all hung
And the eve lights lite up
 
 
The kids have seen santa
whispered their wish list.
 
Cookies have been baked
Hand delivered to the neighbors
 
Family came to visit
 
Stories have been told
 
Laughter has filled the house
 
Cuddles have been shared
 
And Candy canes have been eaten
 
Every day is a day closer
The wait is a thrill
Cant wait to see their little faces alight
As they open their gift!
 
 
We pray you have a Merry Joyous Christmas.
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Updates:
Liam is doing good. He has had no issues with his mediport and the pain from the surgery has subsided. He is back to being a happy semi-healthy sweet little boy who is growing leaps and bounds. He is learning so quickly. He now crawls all over the house, travels along the furnature, pulls things in and out of tubs and blows kisses. Tuesday he is getting braces for his ankles to help stabalize them. The idea is that his weak ankles are preventing him from walking or standing unassisted. The hope and prayer is that these braces will allow him to start standing and walking. WALKING!! Its such an exciting concept we love it! God has done amazing things with Liam and continues to heal our sweet little lamb. We couldn't be prouder or happier of our sweet boy. Liam still isnt eating by mouth but we've been making awesome breakthroughs. He now can put food in his mouth without retching! Sometimes he likes to eat cool whip, lick on suckers or take a small bite or two of a mini reeses peanut butter cup. Thats HUGE! And today little lamb had his very first candy cane ever and HE LIKED IT!!!  Feeding thereapy was approved and his evaluation is on Jan 7th so that will help to get Liam eating like he is supposed to. One of my Christmas wishes was for Liam to eat and I couldnt ask for more! Lanie has learned to write her name and has become great at drawing. We're encouraging her by framing some of her art. She gets so excited to see her work framed and hanging on the wall. Her imagination knows no bounds. We've been so blessed. Thank you all for your prayers.




Monday, November 19, 2012

Liams been sick...

since last wensday. He woke up coughing and a snotty nose. Yesterday I had to go buy him a Vicks vaporizer and the steam liquid meds for it. Thankfully he didnt cough all night llong like he’s been doing. He did talk in his sleep all night long. He even laughed a few times. It was pretty weird and kept me up all night again. Tomarrow he sees his Ped. He will get weighed and get the first of his centiges to protect against RSV. Its been exhausting and has put me in a weird rollercoaster of moods. I tried to take a nap earlier and got woke up by a nightmere. The same one Ive had since Liam was born, of his traggic birth. My biggest nightmere while pregnant with Liam was that he would be breathing when he was born and that he’d be taken away from us in the delivery room. My biggest nightmere came true the night he was born. It became my personal hell. Now Im reliving it in my dreams over and over again. Its something thats been going on spiratically through out the last 16 months. It seems to happen when I get stressed, or during Liam’s hospital admittances, or right after discharge or impending surgeries. I think maybe this time its due to lack of sleep, stress that Liams sick and at this point he could very well get worse and end back up in the hospital for the holidays, and because we’re facing surgery every 2 to 3 months to replace his feeding tube and having to get a mediport put in before all that. Hoping I can face the nightmeres head on to end them. Its due to having PTSD and survivors guilt. Logically I know that I shouldnt feel the way I do at times but Theres a part of my brain that just doesnt give a crap if its logical or not. This is our life, these are everyday struggles.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Hectic Crazy Busy Life

Sorry for Lacking on the post. Alot as been going on and I've got my hands full. Ill try to get you cought up:



Last Sunday November 11th Liam's Jport on his button litterally broke completely out. I had to rush him to Children's where he was admitted since he had to undergo surgery.
 
He had surgery monday afternoon then was released at 9:15pm. The GI who did the surgery said that his tube was completely clogged up so I have to clean it once a week using soda. YES SODA, i.e. pepsi or coke.
Liam also has to be put on the surgical roster to have his tube repleced every 2 to 3 months routinely since theyve had to do emergency surgery 3 times since August.
He also has to have a mediport put in before his next surgery and to do that he has to be perfectly healthy, which brings be to my next update.
 
Today is day #3 of Liam having a snotty nose, cough and congestion.
Everyday it gets worse but we're thinking it's due to the weather flip flopping. Atleast we're hoping.
He goes to his Ped on wednesday so we will know more then.
Im praying he didn't catch RSV, he doesnt get his first centages until wednesday,
 
During PT we talked about how Liam's right foot turns outward. We're going to work on manualy turning it inward. When she comes back in 2 weeks shes going to bring these strap things thatll prevent him feet from going outward. She said this could also be a cause for him not being able to stand on his own yet. We're also working on getting Liam to be able to move from say the couch to say his play table by turning around and steping away from the couch toward the table.
It's all part of catching him up really.
 
On the eating by mouth front, he still only hold interest for suckers.
He will bite on a baby rice cake or numnum but wont eat it.
No liquids by mouth yet either.
He's still on baby formula because we havent figured out why he doesnt tollerate concentrated formulas and all Junior formulas are concentrated apparently.
You can touch his mouth withou him gagging now.
Thats a HUGE step.
You still cant put anything in his mouth though.
 
 
 
 
Lanie has been a loving, doting big sister.
She spends most of her days playing with Liam.
She uses his blocks to build tall towers and Liam pulls a Godzilla by destroying them. They just laugh and laugh.
Infact she does alot to make him laugh and no one can make him laugh like she can. We're very proud of her handling everything so well.
With all Liam's needs we dont get to spend as much time just being with her or even buying things for her.
She understands that brother needs things and even helps.
We cant go into a store without her saying "Oh this would be perfect for Liam".
It's enough to bring me to my knees sometimes.
Shes so giving and loving.
Most people dont get to see that part of her.
I wish there were more hours in the day to do whatever she wanted with her.
 
I find myself looking at Liam during med time or feed time and thinking "Why cant he just be normal?". I feel guilty because to me its like wanting to change him and I love him, his personality is amazing. But Id love to spend less time being a nurse and more time being their mom.

This time last year:
Liam weighed 10 lbs 4 oz. As of his last weight he was around 25 pounds. Last year he wasn't even on the chart. This year he's in the 10th percentile. He's come a long way.

This time last year Liam had gotten his first Gtube. We all thought he's have it out within the year. Now he has a GJtube and we know for a fact that he will have to have it for atleast 3 to 4 more years :(
 
This time last year Liam fit so perfectly in my arms. He wasn't happy unless he was being held.
Now...
Liam barely likes to be cuddled unless he doesnt feel good. He is so much taller and he's so heavy its hard for me to hold him for long.
 
This time last year Lanie was shorter and chubby. Her hair was barely below her shoulders.
 
This year, her hair cascades down to the middle of her back.
Her personality, and attitude have tripped.
Shes taller, leaner.
And funnier.
 
Ive changed too.
Even after the time in NICU and the 2 hospital stays I was still happy.
My hair was still long, to my lower back. I looked alittle tired but I hadnt aged too much.
 
Now... Ive chopped my hair off. Put on 5 pounds.
I am constantly tired. Sometimes I put effort into trying to hide the circles, the exhaustion, the stress with makeup and clothes, like above. But even then I look like Ive aged a good 10 years in 1 year. (below was begining of October this year)

Even Justin has changed. Though he's making a huge effort to do it purposely. He's lost alot of weight and started builting mucsle. I have to say Im jealous that I cant seem to find the energry to work out when everything is said and done.

Oh and Liam got another hair cut. After that IV in his head we had no choice.
Last pic of Liam with hair
 
"No Dad I dont want my hair cut"
 
Even bald he's a cuttie :)
 
Ive also posted a few new videos on YouTube.
You can check them out on my channel "BuggiesMommy"
 
 


 

Friday, October 26, 2012

A Look Back at Last October

 
This time last year we spent our time at Childrens Hospital with Liam. He was admitted for Failure To Thrive, vommiting and not tollerating feeds. He was 3 1/2 months old and had only spend a total of 2 weeks at home. We were scared. Liam ended up staying in through October into early November, a total of 6 weeks straight during this stay. He ended up needing a Nissen Fundoplication and a G-tube. We are so very happy that this year, Liam has NOT been admitted at ALL during the month of October (lets hope it stays that way) and that we are getting to spend Halloween at home, the way it was intended. It's Liam's first Halloween home and we are so very happy for that.
 
 
 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

New toys

 
 
 
Liam got a “new” toy today. A lightening McQueen stuffed rocking toy I found a a used kids store, ‘Twice Upon A Time’. I wasn’t sure how well he’d do with it but turns out he isn’t scared. I put him on it, showed him out to rock and he was off. Lanie got a new hat, a cheetah print cat eared hat she picked out, a “new” outfit, and a new ,monster hight dolls. I love being able to spoil my kids now and then. <3 p="p">
And the random things they do keep me laughing. Like Liam crawling into the lid of his mega blocks container and just sitting there. The standing on his head.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Looking forward, Moving on and celebrating



      On tuesday, just 4 days away, Liam will be home for a total of 10 weeks (2 1/2 months) without a hospital stay or ER visit. This is a new record for us. The last record fell short at 5 weeks and that was through Christmas and New Years. Although we are NOT counting his surgery he had right before his birthday to replace his GJtube because he was only there a few hours.  The fact that he has a cold and is still home is AMAZING to say the least. The last time he cought a cold, it was January and it landed him in the hospital for 3 days.

      With this new record, I feel elated and over joyed and comfortable looking forward and planning ahead again. We didn't even plan too far ahead with his birthday. We knew we wanted to have one so set a date and procured a location and invited people. Behind the scenes, I was a nervous wreck. We waited until the very last minute to buy everything for his party. I spent the day before Liam party dragging my neice from store to store with me to buy everything we needed. You can't really blame us for waiting until the last minute with Liams track record. If something had gone wrong, all we had to do was call everyone off figure out how to consume 4 dozen cupcakes before they expired.

     So now I am truely happy to announce that I am planning Halloween already. I am looking ahead into the future for the first time in a year and I have to be honest. I am not being overwhelmed with anxiety or foreseeing scary events to come. When I look ahead, what I see is no longer a black cloud of uncertainty and misery but a bright future filled with joy and happiness. I can easily think of how i'd like the holidays to turn out. I can finnaly plan crafts that will turn our home into a spooky haunted house or winter wonderland.

        The entire last year of holidays was planned out on the thought "how do I make this holiday good if we end up stuck at the hospital?". Last Halloween we did spend in the hospital and thanks to family we had 2 foux pumpkins and 1 very large real pumpkin. We also used Lanie travel lightbrite to create a glowing pumpkin. Instead of carving the large pumkin, I drew George the giraffe, Childrens Hospital mascot, and we taped it to the front. All our pumkins were displayed in the window for everyone passing to see.

      Liam doned a pumpkin hat I purchased at the gift shop. On the day of Halloween, I modified his costume by cutting holes for his wires to go through. I was determined that my little man would wear his costume on his first Halloween. Lanie dressed up in her costume and got to go trick or treating with all the other kids. According to Lanie, it was the best Halloween ever. I think its because she ended up with 2 huge bags of candy. And as much as I enjoyed seeing her glow with happiness, I would prefer to have this years Halloween out of the hospital.

      So costumes are being planned, crafts ideas are being thought of and trick or treat routes are being mapped out. I am thrilled to yet again have a chance to sit down and create something. I just hope I'm not setting my sights to big :)




Heres some cute fall/Haloween decor and costume ideas:

                                     Funkin Mummy By Joann.com


No-Sew Woodland Fairy Costume by Joann.com

No-Sew trick-or-treat bag by Joann.com

Fall Floral arrangement by Joann.com

Animal Costumes:
Chicken, Lamb and fish
by MarthaStewart.com

Cheesecloth Spider Webs
by MarthaStewart.com