I didn't get much sleep last night between the migraine, justin cranking up the heat and him accidentally smacking me and kneeing me in his sleep. But I was able to get 2 hours sleep after taking a back up tramadol and I feel so much better. I'm even in a good mood. That was the best 2 hours sleep I've had in years. Today I head down to Bakersfield to see a neurologist. He's apparently a neuro surgeon and I'm praying he will have some answers and maybe even solutions to my pain and headaches. I would love to be pain free. I haven't been pain free for years or headache-less in about 5 years and have forgotten what it feels like to feel that way. I don't expect miracles. My goals are realistic. I just want the pain and fatigue to ebb enough so that I can have the energy to play tea party and dolls with Lanie and chase Liam around the house laughing. I want it to ebb enough to where I can sleep again and not have to fight my body just to take care of Liam's medical needs. I shouldn't have to barter and bargain with my body to do these things. It would be nice to not have the simplest things drain me. Today I'm feeling optimistic. There's more to life than pain and it's time I got to experience that.
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