My feet to my knees feels like pens and needles. My hands to my elbows the same. The too of my feet feel like a rug burn.
My hips are sore with shooting pains. I can't lay on my side.
My spin feels like it's on fire. My neck and shoulders are tender. My elbows throb.
Migrain.
Shooting pain in the middle of my back.
A light blanket across my body causes everything to hurt.
I lay here crying because of pain. Because there's nothing I can do about it. This is my life. My life with fibermyalgia.
I'm missing out on so much with my family. The kids are in the living room laughing and enjoying life as I sit here crying.
The only time I'm getting with them lately is when they come into my bedroom and sit on the bed with me. It's not fair to them. They should never see me like this. Ever. How am I supposed to take care of them like this? I still do Liam's medical care. I force myself out of bed to do his feeds, breathing treatments and meds.
I force myself to make sure they've eaten, have clean clothes and everything they need. Sure I could stay here in bed and just let justin do it all but that would make it worse emotionally for me.
Today, right now I can't move. My body and mind are exhausted. Keeping my eyes open and awake is difficult.
I just want to be better. No more pain. All I can do to get through it is tell myself the pain won't stay. It'll pass and things will get better.
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