Two years ago today,
life seemed to be as perfect as our lives got.
A year ago today,
we felt even luckier.
Liam may have been struggling with a "cold",
but we were all home,
happy,
and loved.
A cold wouldn't ruin our happy bubble of life.
Liam was doing great in school.
He was jumping those hurdles almost as fast as they popped up.
He was surrounded by friends who supported and loved him.
They showed more love and compassion towards Liam that I thought was possible for any 4 and 5 year old child's capabilities.
They put so many of my worries at ease.
They gave us more hope for the future.
Liam could do anything with friends like that at his side.
Lanie was doing great at school as always.
Things were exciting at school with Christmas crafts and break coming up.
They would sing Christmas music throughout the day and talk about what they wanted from Santa.
Things couldn't have been better.
They were the best they've ever been.
What we didn't know was that there was a darkness lurking.
Everything would soon change.
In 9 days it'll be 1 year since we lost our little Lamb.
1 year since we last saw his smile.
1 year since we last heard his voice.
1 year since we last held him.
1 year.
12 months.
365 days.
Of pure torture.
(12/6/2014)
Life is completely different.
There's a missing piece of us in everything we do.
Sometimes I can still hear the echo of his laugh,
or feel him tugging on my shirt.
My arms still remember what it's like to hold him.
I'm scared I'll forget.
That I'll one day forget his voice.
Or forget how it felt to hold him.
There are days when this all feels like a coma induced nightmare.
I can't make it all go away no matter how hard I try.
I can't bring him back no matter how much my heart aches for him.
