My inner child wants to stop her foot and scream like a little girl in a tantrom. As good as that would feel, I have to be a grow up and well act grown up. All mom's go through this every now and then right?
Last week I was busy helping a friend pack and move. It was a big, momentous occasion for her and I was more than happy to help her move go as smoothly as possible. Sadly we did have one hang up or glitch. The extremely complication, expesive remote is missing for her super complicated, too smart for it's own good tv. This means she can't use her tv at all. OOPS! It went missing thursday and is still missing. Hopefully she will find it.
Sadly this sent me into a fibro flare. With so much going on I couldn't let the flare keep me down. I still had a house to catch up on cleaning and a family to care for. And since taking Liam out of preschool, it was up to be to work with him daily. So I pulled up my big girl pants and powered through it. Something I really didn't want to do.
By the time Friday arrived, I was done. I had been fighting off alergies all week as well as pain and headaches. My energy was drained, yet I woke up each day trying to take on more than my body could handle. Friday night appeared and I was worthless. I had a mountain of laundry to fold and no energy to do so. I couldn't control my body temp, something that wasn't abnormal for me, so I sat around cuddled in a sweater. Lanie ended up going to a ball game with some friends so it was just hubby, Liam and I hanging out on the front pourch. I stayed up way later than I should have, waiting for Lanie to get home, but she was super excited to tell us all about her night.
Saturday I was in such bad shape that even though I got up at 7am and made breakfast for the fam, I had to go back to bed and rest after. I ended up passing out and not waking back up until a little after 1pm. I still woke up feeling crappy but there was much to be done. I got dressed, something that took all my energy to do. After I had to sit down and rest. I went to drink a soda when my hands decided with the can halfway to my mouth that it no longer wanted to work. All the mucsles in my hand and arm went slack, resulting in my arm falling to my lap, as well as the can of soda. I looked like I had peed my pants.
What happened next was more embarrassing. In a moment of pure weakness, I broke down crying. It took few minutes to compose myself. I was shocked by the outburst of tears. This was how I knew I was in bad shape. I should have just gone to bed and called it quits but I couldn't. Instead Liam and I went to Target in a failed attempt to find a birthday gift for my nephew. What do you get an 18 year old boy???
I was able to get a few things we needed before heading out and going to little ceasars for pizza. Of course they were out of cheese pizza for me so I got the fam peperoni and headed to the grocery store for my dinner. Because why would anything work my way? By the time I got back home, I was too exhausted to eat, so plopped on the couch and fell asleep for an hour instead.
After waking up, I microwaved myself a frozen cheese pizza, because I was dead et on cheese pizza, and the kids and I got comfy in my bed and watched the Box Trolls. Such a cute movie! I needed the time to slowly eat and rest more. After the movie I decied to tackle cleaning the bedroom and folding the laundry. Thankfully I got through it.
My nephew ended up comming over and speding the night so he and my hubby could take off and go golfing Sunday morning. This turned out to be good because hubby paid for his golf balls and gave him cash for his birthday. They had fun. I made the kids breakfast and around 11am got enough energy to clean up the kitchen. I forced myself anyway. I used all I had to lug the trash can out side and dump the trah bag in the big trash can. Come to find out, we were out of trash bags so I had wased by enery for nothing and this made me so mad.
We had to make another trip to Target for trash bags and more after hubby got home. Thankfully he had come with me because I was infuriated at everything. I couldn't find anything I needed and everything was making me mad. Luckily he found what we needed and we got out of there. Hubby did learn that this is the best time to take me because I don't have the energy to look around and I don't end up making senseless purchases. Like a new book (to me that's not a senseless purchase but because I have many that I need to read he prefers I wait to buy more).
Next stop was my brother in laws to celebrate my nephew and father in laws birthdays. Seriously by this time I was done and exhausted and Im not sure how I made it through the night without passing out on everyone.
Each day that passed my allergies just kept getting worse and worse. For the pat 4 nights I have been awake for at least 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. Funny how when your super exhausted and in pain that you just can't sleep well.
I would say good news it's monday but, it's monday! With monday has ome a whole new barage of problems.
Possible sinus infection
Family member passing away
Terrible migraine
NO energy
PTA problems that I'm ot even daring to discuss because I don't have te energy.
So how do you deal with things when it seems like way to much?
I tell myself that this is life. Things aren't perfect and life is designed to test us as far as our limits will allow. So if things just keep getting worse than it must mean that my limit is very high. No I won't win an award or be precognized for simply living the best way I know how, but I wouldn't want that. As much as I wish life would get better, I expect it'll only get worse, so I better make the best of it and go down smiling knowing I did all I could. As long as you try, you never fail.
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