Stop Bullying

There an epidemic of bullying going on in the US. It's not a new thing by far but something that people are finally taking seriously and taking a stand against it. Last year my daughter Lanie was teased and called a baby and taunted by a kid in a higher grade. When I went to talk to the principle I was told that Lanie could no longer walk alone to her Kindergarden class that I either had to walk her or take her to the office to be walked. 

This frustrated me beyond reason. We were told at parent orientation that we could simply drop off our kindegardeners at the front and they could walk but when bullying started happening that was no longer an option. Lanie went 6 months of bullying before saying anything to is because she was too scared too. She thought she would somehow get in trouble. When I found out I did all I could to help stop this. The school however didn't seem to care. The said that the area this was happening in was monitored by staff at all times. 

I proved then wrong very quickly. Yet nothing was ever done to the kids who where tormenting my little kindegartener calling her a baby then taunting her rudely with "baby baby baby baby" over and over. Followed by laughing in her face. They also called her a loser. All this happened during their stand up to bullying campaign. Yea I get the irony. 

I started just walking her to class everyday last year. Figured since the school wouldn't do their job then I would. This meant no breakfast in the cafeteria with her friends, no Friday dance party, nothing. It was un-just and unfair. 

The rules for this year now that she's in first grade are different. They have no playground they're allowed to play on in the mornings. The can't go straight into their classrooms. No. This year they must go straight to the cafeteria to sit at their classrooms assigned table. No ifs ands or buts. I thought we left the bullying behind last year but I was so wrong. The same kid/kids that bullies Lanie last year are at it again. Already, on only the 4th day of school. This older girl is now the leader of a group whom she makes bully others. She points to the victim and they go right at it. 

This is Lanie after school today. She was very upset, emotional and heart broken. She bravely relayed the details of what they said to her as well as what they looked like. It breaks my heart to see her so upset. She should feel safe at school. She should only have to worry about her homework not what names she's being called that day. She shouldn't come home and shut down like this. My naturally happy, friendly, chatty girl didn't want to talk. She broke down crying while we asked questions. She needed a minute. She needed to breathe, relax, let it out. 

Why it doesn't come as second nature to teach our kids name calling and bullying confounds me. As babies I taught my kids we aren't mean to others. We don't push, pull hair, bite, call names or do anything to hurt someone's feelings. We are our children's first teachers so why not. It's not hard. I also teach my kids to stand up for others being bullied. Don't allow it to happen, have your friends back, tell an adult.

But it's hard to tell an adult when none of them listen or don't care. How can we expect our children's to have faith in those who are supposed to protect them when those who are there to protect them won't do so? How can our kids have faith in them if we can't have faith in them? 

Bullying at school leads to situations like columbine. School shootings and bombings can be stopped years before they happen by merely putting an end to the bullying. It seems the only time people want to stand up to bullying is AFTER someone gets physically hurt, threatened or killed. To the schools eyes it's just a few kids acting out a little and they'll tell them to play nice and send them on their way to do it again without any actual punishment. 

Not acting now causes a butterfly effect for the future. Stop bullying now. A small things may seem useless untill added to everything else that's happened. I'm not saying that this will lead to something disasterous at school one day in the far future. What I'm saying is this is how it starts. We need to stop it now. Right now before it gets worse. The kids being bullied need to be free of it and those doing the bullying need help too because there's a reason they're acting out. 

What would you so if your child came how so sad and upset and shut down like this

#stopbullying #standuptobullys 

(I am not associated in anyway with stopbullying.gov I just came across it while looking up some sites to help give me some tools to help Lanie. I am just a mother trying to end the pain for my daughter)

Stranger Danger

What happened to the "Good Old Days" when children yelled "stranger danger" and ran away from "danger"? I guess its time to install that into my daughter. We've been having some behavorial issues with her that have increasingly got worse. At first we were leiniant because we figured it was due to the birth of her brother and the upset CDH had on our lives. Today was a prime example of why we can no longer go easy on her.

So Justin took Lanie to the park today and she went where he could see her several times, he had  to search for her. She talked to strangers, thank God they were just 2 teenage girls, then talk to more strangers, a couple, not good, and even devulged personal info (name, age, where her daddy worked). When he got onto her and made her sit in timeout on the basketball courts with him she talked back and said she was telling mommy, she was going to through grass at him and made faces at him. So he brought her home where she is now in her bed after a talk about what she did wrong and how dangerous what she did was and talked back to me as well. Shes lost her snacks and her cartoons and on the verge of loosing all her toys for a week as well. We've done everything but clear out her roon of toys. Its so frustrating.

The reason I am posting this is because there are just some things that parents dont think of. We though telling Lanie to stay where we can see her and explaining to her not to talk to strangers back when would be enough. We never thought that this would happen. She had been well behaved untill this last year. This situation has made me open my eyes and realize "What else do I need to talk to my daughter about?"

So I did some googling:
The National Crime Prevention Council has a website that can help with some of those talks where you just dont know what to say.
What To Teach Your Kids About Strangers   

They have a ton of articles on topics like...
Bullying
Cyberbullying
Drug Abuse
Halloween Safety
School Safety
Even Senior Safety

So even if you think your kids know the basics in safety, its always good to gather more info and to have another talk with them. Lanie will be getting some day to day "training" in safety from now on.